Hi everybody, I am a paranoid schizophrenic and this is what I came up regarding music.
You can download  the full album (.zip file with mp3’s), scroll down!
For a short story I wrote during psychosis scroll at the end of the page.
Please support my work by donating if you wish. Also check out my sci-fi blog: Sci-fi blog by Manasse

living with schizophrenia, metal per favore, music by schizophrenic

1. Withdrawal

2. Intro

3. Scream

4. Voices

5. Midnight

6. Horror

7. Darkness

Bonus Tracks
8. Thrash Metal Warrior

9. Psychotic Intervention

10. Keep it Groovy

11. New Amp

12. Cemetery

13. Melancholia

Download full album here.
Support my work by donating, if you wish! Also check out my sci-fi blog: Sci-fi Blog by Manasse




Heaven

It happened on a summer day. More precisely, somewhere around the middle of July 2023. I was traveling by bus. Passing through a city, at a certain moment there is silence. A deafening silence. The bus stops. I look out the window and notice something strange: crossed buses, cars in each other and buildings joined together. “- Clash between parallel worlds?” I ask. I don’t get any answer. I look around me: the passengers were all sitting as if seriously, without any emotion.

“- Whoever wants to come with me”, a gentleman stood up. I determined, I follow him. Behind me another lady and a gentleman. We get off the bus and leave the city, which already doesn’t even exist anymore. We are heading, as if nowhere in this hostile environment, like in a desert. I didn’t know what was happening, but I decided to follow the gentleman from the bus. We arrive at the bank of a water. It seemed to be a sea. The man from the bus steps into the water, I follow him, asking: “- Where are we going?” I don’t get any answer. I was already in deep water and I noticed how the gentleman from the bus was sinking into the water. I close my eyes, hold my breath and follow him. I want to breathe, but as if I’m afraid, I decide to open my eyes first. Around us: an underwater desert. I look behind me and notice how the lady on the bus has her eyes open and is breathing normally. I start to breathe too. “how strange, even though we are under water, we see and breathe normally”. After a few hours of walking, another line of people appeared in front of us, who seemed to be descending into the water. I signal to the gentleman in front of me, hitting him lightly on the back, giving him the meaning: “danger!”. He makes a sign with his finger that we don’t stop and with his hand indicating “forward!”. The group that passed by us, in a row like us, consisted of dozens of people. They were detached from another world, from other times, they seemed to be pirates. They passed by us, showing no hostile intent, they were just like us, as if without emotions. We go up the bank and get out of the water.” – What happened? Where are we going?” I ask confused, but disciplined. “- Let’s play Aquatennis”, says the gentleman in front. “- Aquatennis?”, I ask confused. “- Yes.” He replied in a swallowed tone. Looking in the distance I notice a lake and a house. Arriving at the house, the gentleman from the bus hands each of us a tennis paddle and takes a ball. The ball was bigger than a tennis ball, but much lighter. We entered the lake, but this time, the water was not deep, you could stand. The gentleman from the bus standing in the goalpost throws the ball towards me, shouting: “- Pass it!” I pass it to the lady on my left, who passes it to the other gentleman on the left. The latter misses hitting the ball. “- Leave it Georg, man learns as long as he lives, doesn’t he Anto?”, “- That’s right Tom!” She shouted to the gentleman at the goalpost. Tom leaves the gate and heads towards the shore, I follow him. After me Anto and Georg. The weather was getting dark. We were heading again, seemingly nowhere. “What’s going on, where are we?” I was wondering. “Maybe it’s a way of initiation towards something, which I still don’t understand”.
In the meantime, the Sun came out and I ask Mr. Tom: “Please tell me what’s going on? We’ve been walking for several hours to no avail!” I don’t get any answer, we keep going, keeping the same pace. The same hostile environment around us, maybe a stone from time to time. A street and a car appear, as if from a science-fiction movie. “- Please tell me where we are?” and I stop. “- Why don’t you show any emotion? At least be sad!”. Anto looks at me and asks: “What’s wrong with you, Manase?”.

“Here is Manase”, a voice is heard from a hill not too far away. I look towards that hill and notice a black individual. “- Come join us,” he says. I turn towards him, he extends his hand and says, smiling: “- Ernest”, “- Manase, delighted”. I look behind to say goodbye, but the others were gone, as if the environment had changed as well. Ernest: “- Here’s who came”, “- Welcome to Heaven”, says a lady. “- Hand-kiss” and introduce myself in a friendly, slightly confused way. “- Maria! Don’t worry, that’s how it is in the beginning, you get used to it.” Next to Mrs. Maria was an older man. Concerned, he extends his hand and introduces himself: “- Franklin! Welcome among us.” Not far from us there was a person, younger than me, who was sitting among some stones and talking to himself. “- Who is the guy?” I ask. “- Let him, he is sick, I noticed that prayer helps him”. Mrs. Maria tells me. “- Yes, the prayer,” whispered Mr. Franklin thoughtfully. We sat down. Maria by my side, she prayed. Ernest, throwing stones, playing, seemed happy. Mr. Franklin always more serious and thoughtful. “- What year are you from?” Mrs. Maria asks me in a friendly tone. “- I don’t understand”, I answer confused. They look at each other and smile. “- I am from ’80” says Mrs. Maria, “- I am from 1920”, says Ernest, “- then I died”, continuing. “Me since 1890,” says Mr. Franklin. Finally, I tell them that I am from 2023. “Are we really in Heaven?”. I ask Franklin: “Are we really in Heaven?”. He puts his index finger over his lips and whispers to me: “- I don’t believe it! Maria is more faithful. I’m not!”. It makes sense to me to speak more slowly. “I don’t know! Heaven, Purgatory…”. “I noticed that there is always the Sun up here”. I ask: “It never gets dark here?”. “- It never gets dark in Heaven!” said Ernest happily. “- I noticed something: although I’ve been here for a few days, I suppose, I’m not hungry or thirsty, is that normal?”. Ernest: “- I once tried to eat an apple, it didn’t taste good, I threw it away.” Maria: “- Don’t tell anyone, you saw what happened to Adam and Eve”. Franklin: “Yes, it’s normal here, I haven’t closed my eyes since I arrived, we’re not even sleeping!” I look around and see in the sky a Blue Planet. “- Isn’t it our Planet?”, “- Yes, but here we are in Heaven”, says Maria. “- Maybe this is a virtual world”, Franklin: “- Maybe there is reincarnation”. Ernest is visibly more nervous. “If we get back, maybe we’ll reincarnate,” says Franklin, pointing to the Blue Planet. “- You have to go! Don’t you see what you’ve done?” Ernest yelled nervously at me. “Don’t leave,” says Maria. “I’d better go, I don’t want any trouble.” Ernest is getting more and more nervous, he wants to prove that it is not a virtual world and he picks up a stone that he throws at the sick guy’s head. The stone remains embedded in his head and he runs away pointlessly. “It’s a glitch,” I say. Ernest crying: “- What have I done?”.

Maria drew from the cry: “- What is that object in the sky?”, “A spaceship?” I ask myself. Franklin: “- We have to see where it lands”. Maria: “- I have seen something like this before, before I died, such a capsule landed on the Moon”. We all run to the area where the capsule landed. Ernest remains: “- It’s pure madness!”. We want to get closer to the capsule, but Maria: “- If they are aliens?”, Franklin: “- Don’t be ridiculous!”, I watched with interest the capsule from which two astronauts descend. Maria: “- They are astronauts from Earth”. We approach them, and they get scared: “- Who are you?”, “- We are humans”, “- Impossible, there are no humans on the Moon”, Maria: “- You are not on the Moon, you are in Heaven”. Mr. Franklin gets a little nervous. The two astronauts look at each other and wonder if they are dead: “- I heard an explosion at takeoff”, “- You don’t think we are in Heaven?”, “- You are right, impossible, we are most likely on a another planet”. Ernest suddenly appears and hits one of the astronauts in the head, the stone remains embedded in his head and he starts to run away. “- I told you it’s a glitch, it’s not real, we’re in a virtual world”, Franklin: “No one knows what this means, Manase!”. Ernest: “- He is right, since you appeared, only problems…” and takes a stone in his hand. Maria: “- Ernest calm down!”. He rushes at me and we both fall, when he tries to hit me in the head with a stone, the other astronaut hits Ernest with a rod brought from the capsule. The rod remains embedded in his head, and he starts to run away. Franklin asks the astronaut if the capsule is still working and receives an affirmative answer. “- Take me home” says Franklin to the astronaut; the latter: “- I can’t! I’m not allowed! I have to ask first.” A conflict arises between the two, and Franklin gets stuck with a stone in the head and runs away like a madman. I ask the astronaut: “- Take me, please!”, “- I can’t!”, and the astronaut heads towards the capsule. Maria picks up a stone and tells me: “You know what you have to do!”. Eliminate the astronaut! Maria tells me that she wants to stay, I prefer to go to the Blue Planet. Intuition tells me how to start the ship and I soar into the Planet’s orbit, catapult myself and land. On the surface of the Earth, I approach a city and see how decades pass in front of me. The city changes its appearance, the buildings. I realize that I am a virtual character enhanced by AI. The creator in front of the screen, notices me! “- How did you get here?” and presses “Delete” I disappear! The creator sits comfortably in the chair and thinks about how to improve the game by calling on AI. I wake up and say to myself: “What a strange dream!”



 

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